Investing Energy-What's Working For Me: The News Edition

“When one is engaged in suffering, there is so much more to it than keeping it all together”.

This is a quote from Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, founder of the Trauma Stewardship Institute. She said this in a TEDx talk in 2015 titled “Beyond the Cliff.”

Okay.

So.

There is a lot going on.

I get that it can be hard to focus, and hard to know where our focus is supposed to land. I believe this is by design.

I posted before about investing energy. This summer is similar, since my spouse’s full-time gig fell through and we’re adjusting to another new normal where we work mostly opposite schedules and reconfigure our finances. It’s also a little different, for the above reasons and other more personal ones. But I find myself reflecting more on how to cultivate energy, and how to make more “room in the margins” as Laura van Dernoot Lipsky puts it. (I saw her speak a few months ago and it was transformative. Check out her new book, “The Age of Overwhelm: Strategies for the Long Haul” coming out in July).

These are things that have been working for me. You are welcome to try them. You are welcome to mock me for them. Whatever you want to do, really, but I figured I’d share in case they might help:

Building Relationships from the Ground Up: An Interview with a Natural

In my last post, I came to the conclusion that one foundation of self-care is creating and maintaining healthy boundaries in working relationships.

Having moved across the country in the past year, I’m in the process of creating and maintaining an all-new set of relationships. And if my social media newsfeeds are to be believed, making IRL friends as an adult is something that a lot of people struggle with.

Three people throwing their fists in the air in unison.
Text reads, "Team friendship!"

To help me start with this reflection, I looked to the person in my life that is probably the best relationship-builder I know: my spouse, Caleb. Nearly all the people I now call friends are people I’ve met through Caleb. He has been asked to stand at weddings several times and he’s a godfather to two. His best friends are those he’s been friends with since FOREVER. And their friendships are not just of convenience, since we’ve moved so far from his hometown in Florida and they still keep in touch frequently. He tells basically every FB friend “happy birthday” and while I don’t understand it he sees is as an important Facebook Friend Role.